Everything you think, do, and achieve is rooted in one thing – your beliefs about yourself.
Consider these contrasts:
“I can do this” versus “I can’t do this.”
“This will make me feel good” versus “This will make me feel bad.”
“I need to impress them” versus “I am sufficient as I am.”
Mahatma Gandhi encapsulated this beautifully, saying, “Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, and your values become your destiny.”
Not every belief propels you forward. For instance, a view of sales as dubious prevents one from selling effectively.
Believing you lack humour will hinder your social interactions. Perfectionism will lead to procrastination. These patterns will hold you back.
Limiting beliefs can act like an invisible barrier, but they can be shattered with the right guidance.
Here’s how I challenge my clients thinking:
Unlocking Your Innate Power
The truth is, you craft your own reality.
Yet, often, we unconsciously adhere to limitations simply because we’ve never challenged them.
Take the example of the elephant tied to a tree as a young calf, incapable of breaking free. As an adult, even though it could easily break free, it doesn’t try because it’s conditioned to believe it can’t.
This metaphor parallels my own life, where I assumed a traditional 9-5 job was the only path until I saw peers stepping away from it successfully.
We all harbor such unrecognized beliefs.
To confront them, ask yourself:
“If I were to choose freely, what would my ideal scenario look like?”
Imagine relationships that elevate you, work that fulfills you, and a lifestyle that excites you every morning. You have the power to choose this reality.
Forget convention or the naysayers. Allow yourself to dream big and pursue those dreams. If you fail, you fail—but it’s better than not trying because of self-imposed limitations.
Challenging Stubborn Belief Systems
Humans are notoriously bad at evaluating reality objectively.
In a study, participants were given two opposing papers on the death penalty. They invariably found the paper that aligned with their pre-existing beliefs more credible.
This is known as confirmation bias—our ego’s preference for information that supports our current beliefs, even when being wrong could benefit us.
For example, after a rejection in sales or dating, my clients sometimes blame their inadequacies without considering other reasons.
To break this cycle, consider:
“What evidence contradicts my current belief?”
Actively seeking counterexamples can significantly disrupt your habitual thinking.
Revealing Hidden Benefits
All actions have benefits, even those stemming from limiting beliefs.
A shield against rejection and the pressure to perform better can make mediocrity comfortable.
To move past this, reflect on:
“What am I gaining by holding onto this belief?”
Identifying the hidden rewards of your beliefs can clarify why you maintain them and help you let them go for greater long-term benefits.
Exposing New Realities
We could accelerate our learning and personal development if we first unlearn outdated notions.
Consider an artist needing a blank canvas. You can’t create a masterpiece without clearing away the old sketches.
After a series of failed relationships, therapy can help you recognize that your interpretation of “sparks” was actually a trauma response, not true compatibility.
To facilitate this, ask:
“What if my current belief is entirely wrong?”
This question can open doors to new perspectives and opportunities, encouraging humility and continuous learning.
Evolving Rather Than Eliminating Limiting Beliefs
Dropping deeply ingrained beliefs all at once is daunting and unrealistic.
Instead, transform them gradually:
“I’m not skilled at sales” might become “I’m learning and improving at sales.”
“I have no style” might become “I’m exploring styles and learning from others.”
“I can’t solve this” might become “I’m finding ways to solve this.”
Incremental changes are more manageable and sustainable.
Final thoughts
Shifting your limiting beliefs is a powerful way to transform your life. While these beliefs might have once protected you, they are often outdated. By challenging and reframing them, you open yourself up to new possibilities and a richer life experience.
Ask yourself these transformative questions regularly:
“If I could choose what I wanted it to be, what would it look like?”
“What evidence do I have that contradicts this belief?”
“What’s the hidden payoff I get from believing this?”
“What if what I believe was completely false?”
These questions can help you completely re-wire your negative neural pathways
