Dont Say These Things

Emotional intelligence is a vital asset in any professional’s skill set, enabling them to identify their own strengths and weaknesses, actively seek out feedback, work collaboratively, and form effective relationships.

Individuals with advanced emotional intelligence are careful to avoid using phrases that might be destructive or counterproductive. Here are seven statements they avoid, along with suggestions for more constructive alternatives:

Avoiding Accusations like “You always” or “You never”

Rather than using accusatory and nonconstructive statements such as, “You always message me after work hours” or “You’re never pleased with my work,” emotionally intelligent people opt for dialogue that promotes understanding and resolution. For instance, they might say: “It seems like my work isn’t aligning with your expectations. What adjustments can I make?”

Steering Clear of Provocative Questions like “Why are you so…?”

Questions such as “Why are you so uncooperative?” can exacerbate conflicts. Instead, those with high emotional intelligence invite open discussion without assigning blame, saying things like, “Can you help me understand your point of view?” or “What are your reservations about my proposal?”

Rejecting Dismissive Comments such as “Whatever” or “Doesn’t matter”

Responses like “Yeah, whatever” or “It doesn’t really matter right now” can appear disrespectful. Emotionally intelligent individuals reserve such phrases for moments truly devoid of consequence, saying perhaps, “The timing for completing this task isn’t critical since we’re not under a tight deadline.”

Avoiding Inflexibility with Statements Like “That’s how I’ve always done it”

To avoid seeming rigid and closed off to new methods, rather than clinging to the familiar ways, emotionally intelligent people might propose, “Is there a more efficient method to approach this? I’m eager to hear your thoughts.”

Ditching Dismissive Brush-offs Like “I don’t have time for this”

Instead of suggesting their time is more valuable than others’, they might say, “I’m currently unable to fit this into my schedule,” or offer an alternative like, “Would you be able to handle this task? I’d really appreciate it.”

Replacing Non-committal Responses Like “I’ll try”

This phrase often reflects uncertainty and a lack of commitment. Emotionally intelligent people prefer to communicate their engagement more clearly, for instance: “I’m interested in automating this process but am unsure of the approach. Do you have any advice?”

Avoiding Defeatist Attitudes Like “It’s impossible” or “We can’t do that”

Instead of quickly dismissing new ideas, they might suggest delaying the discussion with, “Let’s put this on hold for the moment,” or they may seek further clarification, “This seems challenging due to our limited experience in this area. Can you explain the necessity of this approach?”

Final thoughts

In summary, by choosing these alternative phrases, emotionally intelligent individuals not only display their interpersonal skills but also contribute to a more encouraging and productive work environment. Effective communication, marked by politeness and empathy, is essential for continual personal and professional development.

Further reading

How to Make Good Choices: A Comprehensive Guide to Better Decision-Making